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AN American Story

LORD OF THE RINGS
http://ermine.users.netlink.co.uk/onj/webring.html
PREVIEW Zoro /\/ Mask

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http://www.cowboysindians.com/
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click...to american>>>
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Computer stuff/////see vVvelow..>>>here"<^>keep on
V
> >
> >
> >
> > >Once upon a time.....
> > >
> > >Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better
> > >at using the computer. They had been going at it for days. Finally,
> > >God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two
> > >hours and it will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus
> > >sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
> > >
> > >They moused.
> > >
> > >They did spreadsheets.
> > >
> > >They wrote reports.
> > >
> > >They sent faxes.
> > >
> > >They sent e-mail.
> > >
> > >They sent out e-mail with attachments.
> > >
> > >They downloaded.
> > >
> > >They did some genealogy reports.
> > >
> > >They made cards.
> > >
> > >They did every known job.
> > >
> > >But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
> > >across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the
> > >electricity went off.
> > >
> > >Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
> > >in the underworld.
> > >
> > >Jesus just sighed.
> > >
> > >The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted
> > >their computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's
> > >gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
> > >
>Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from
the
> >
> > >past two hours. Satan observed this and became even more irate.
> > >"Wait! He cheated! How did he do it???!!!"
> > >
> > >God shrugged and said,
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> > "Jesus Saves."
> > >
> >
>
Reply Reply All Forward Delete Put in Folder...InboxSent MessagesDraftsTrash CanACLUaolclass papercox rept.fishkeyslink tomatono helpsignaturessigned onsubjecttomatos
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-------------------------------
A follow-up to the infamous "Jesus is Coming" post.
The original post (from Clarence L. Thomas IV) is cited in italics; the responses are cited in bold.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Global Alert For All: Jesus is Coming Soon
(Clarence L. Thomas IV) writes:
The earthquake in Los Angeles, California, the flood in Europe, the seemingly unstoppable war in the former Yugoslavia, the devastating fires in Australia, the flood in the Midwest of the United States of America, the devastating fires near Los Angeles, California, the rapid and appalling increase in violence in cities, towns, villages all over the world, the famines, the diseases, the rapid decline of the family unit, and the destructive earthquake in India (in 1993) are signs that this world's history is coming to a climax. The human race has trampled on God's Constitution, as given in Exodus 20:1-17 (King James Version Bible), and Jesus is coming to set things right. These rapidly accelerating signs are an indication that Jesus is coming soon (Matthew 24).
Which compiler are you using?
God's Holy Spirit is gradually withdrawing its protection from the earth and the devastating events you see are demonstrations of Satan's power. All those who are not guarded by God are in danger of forever losing eternal life.
Have you tried compiling with -Wsatan? That should warn you about all demonstrations of Satan's power in your code. There is a software product Divinity (tm) which will find Satanic leaks in your code. I highly recommend this product. It costs only $666.
If you want to know what's about to happen, please study the books of Daniel and Revelation which are located in God's Word, the Bible. They are not sealed or closed books. They can and must be understood by all. Every word in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation is true. The Bible and the Bible only must be your guide.
Oh yeah? Where in the Bible does it say that i = i++ is a bad idea? Huh? HUH? Does it talk about Quicksort? DOES IT? Where does it discuss the evils of goto and unstructred code? When you get a bus error don't come crying to me buddy!
When God's Law (the Constitution for the Universe) is consistently ignored, disregarded, changed, and questioned, He permits certain events to occur to wake us up. I would urge all, wherever you are and regardless of the circumstances, to directly call on Jesus and ask Him to intervene in your life. Jesus who created this planet and every living creature in it and on it, died on the cross, was raised from the dead by God the Father, and is now in Heaven interceding for you. Jesus is the only One who can rescue us from the slavery, misery, and death Satan is causing us.
For those of you who have to think in computer terms:
Satan - Microsoft
Jesus - The FSF
God - A committee of Richard Stallman, Donald Knuth, Brian Kernighan, and Dennis Ritchie
Old Testament - K&R Classic
New Testament - K&R ANSI
Penance - Installing emacs
In the other direction....
gcc - becoming a Christian
gcc -Wall - becoming a Christian *and* a Moslem (just to be sure)
gcc -Wall -Wprototypes - ... and a Jew. You can't be too careful
gdb - Reading the bible
sdb - Reading it in Hebrew
adb - Reading it in Klingon
For reference I'm including God's Constitution as given in the King James Version Bible. Please note that when God says the seventh day, he means Sabbath (the 7th day of the week) not Sunday (1st day of the week).
How about I just not hack on weekends at all? Is that cool?
Commandment #1: Exodus 20:1-3 (KJV) And God spake all these words, saying, I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
K&R #1 Thou shalt have no C Bible before me.
Commandment #2: Exodus 20:4-6 (KJV) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
K&R #2 Thou shalt not use Pascal, it being only a pale shadow of C
Commandment #3: Exodus 20:7 (KJV) Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
K&R #3 Thou shalt always prototype your functions or else the C compiler will extract vengence.
Commandment #4: Exodus 20:8-11 (KJV) Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
K&R #4 Only hack on Sundays^H^H^H^H^H^H^HSaturdays if you *really* want to.
Commandment #5: Exodus 20:12 (KJV) Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
K&R #5 Hold pre-ansi C in high esteem as it was the parent of True C. Honor C++ while you are at it. You can hate COBOL if you like.
Commandment #6: Exodus 20:13 (KJV) Thou shalt not kill.
K&R #6 Don't dereference NULL.
Commandment #7: Exodus 20:14 (KJV) Thou shalt not commit adultery.
K&R #7 We really, really mean it about dereferencing NULL.
Commandment #8: Exodus 20:15 (KJV) Thou shalt not steal.
K&R #8 If you are going to use Borland C++ at least buy it so we don't have to put up with 300 moronic questions from loser piraters that could be answered by 30 seconds perusal of the manual.
Commandment #9: Exodus 20:16 (KJV) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
K&R #9 Except Microsoft
Commandment #10: Exodus 20:17 (KJV) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
K&R #10 Just because Pascal has a cool feature that you like, don;t expect it to be in C. If you like Pascal so much, USE IT. Oh yeah, don't dereference NULL.
I also recommend that the following books be obtained and closely studied:
..... Surfing the Internet Without a Clue, an Autobiography By Clarence L. Thomas IV, Utter Nimrod Publications
Clarence L. Thomas IV
Responder

----
About matters of fact, its is said that 100%: The above isn't and they don't.
----->...

...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hacker's Wisdom/ "Jesus is Coming" Response Last modified: Tue Jun 25 16:46:07 EDT 1996 Wisdom

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http://www.cowboysindians.com/articles/0702/0702fr1.html

The Red Headed Stranger Gives an All-Access Tour of his Texas Hill Country Ranch by Eric O'Keefe photography by Matt Lankes Out West, a trip down almost any respectable stretch of rural highway reveals an unending number of dirt roads that lead to the remnants of bygone settlements. Some, like Buffalo Gap or Old Mesilla, got snookered when the path of progress passed them by as railroads crowned new county seats and made footnotes of the also-rans. Mother Nature also took her toll. Tincup, Terlingua, Virginia City—the list of boom towns that got boarded up once the mines played out runs clear into the thousands. Out in the Texas Hill Country, just west of Austin, the false façades of the tiny town of Luck still stand scattered among groves of live oak and cedar. Although it's entirely abandoned, Luck remains completely intact. You've got your livery. You've got your grocer. A chapel anchors the west end of Main Street, and there's a hotel and the sheriff's office closer in. Luck exudes the sort of rustic charm befitting an old Western town, yet its two streets are actually the principal portions of a Western movie set created by its founding father, Willie Nelson. His Red Headed Stranger was filmed in Luck. So, too, were portions of Lonesome Dove, episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and the final installment of Walker, Texas Ranger. Willie is downright proud of his Texas town, and, given his way with words, it should come as no surprise that he gifted it with a catchy town motto: "Either you're in Luck, or you're out of Luck." Given the native Texan's penchant for performing—www.willienelson.com typically lists more than 200 concerts any given year—Willie is quick to add, "More often than not, I'm out of Luck." Downtime is rare, but when he's not touring and if he's not out playing golf, making a movie, or working on a new album, in all likelihood Willie will be in Luck. The kicker is there's only one façade in the entire town that's not a false front, and that would be the saloon. Two stories tall with a fine porch out front, it serves as Willie's World Headquarters and commands a full view of Main Street. For some ungodly reason, it's also situated at the opposite end of town from the chapel. Maybe you've seen a lot of saloons in your time. Willie's is a lot like some and different from them all. If the light is just right or the sun's already set, you can pick out the billiard table long before you set foot inside. Past the pool cues and along the left wall, a set of stairs rises up above a pot-bellied stove. Most of the main room is taken up by the well-worn wooden bar to your right. It's a standard setup, with a bunch of barstools on one side and a mirrored wall behind it, but, instead of bottles of liquor, stacks and stacks of CDs are lined up along the back counter. Next on Willie's play list? Django Reinhardt. Most folks wouldn't notice the church pew and the railing to your right as you walk in. They'd be too busy eyeing the posters and the artwork and the other memorabilia that cover every inch of wall space from just above the wainscoting clear to the vaulted ceiling. Many items feature Willie, but there are plenty that don't, such as the movie poster with the ever-smiling Roy Rogers and Trigger (the namesake of Willie's trusty guitar). Willie doesn't come across near as cheerful in an ominous headshot from Red Headed Stranger. There's a lobby card from The Hired Gun, and Luckenbach's Annual Fourth of July Pic-Nic receives ample signage. A letter from Bill Clinton includes his regrets at not being able to attend a Farm Aid performance and concludes with a request for a rain check. David Zettner is obviously Luck's artist-in-residence. His pastels and oils, prominently placed throughout the building, range from studies of the San Antonio missions to portraits of Wes Studi and Frank Fools Crow. Willie is quite proud of his Cherokee heritage, and numerous Native artifacts line the walls. Snapshots like the ones you might have on your refrigerator are tacked up everywhere, and almost all of them are group shots. There are the golfing buddies—Coach Darrell Royal, Ben Crenshaw, and the Preacher—and there's a caricature of The Highwaymen—Willie, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, and Kris Kristofferson. Poodie and David and Scooter and Gator and the rest of the crew are mixed in with members of the band—Jody Payne (guitar and vocals), Jackie King (guitar), Bee Spears (bass), Paul English (drums), Bill English (percussion), Mickey Raphael (harmonica), and Willie's sister Bobbie Lee (piano). For Willie, making music has been a family tradition since Bobbie started taking piano lessons and he got his first Sears & Roebuck Stella guitar at 6. A playbill highlights a performance by Kimmie Rhodes and Jo Carroll Pierce and Guy Juke. Another features Ray Price. An extra-large placard trumpets a two-night stand by Willie at the legendary Tulsa venue Cain's Ballroom. An Oklahoma landmark since the 1920s, Cain's has hosted Country greats such as Bob Wills, Ernest Tubb, Roy Acuff, and Hank Thompson (as well as a number of not-so-Country acts like The Police, Van Halen, and the Sex Pistols). Willie's concerts got so crowded that some of his more recent shows were moved to a larger venue. But it wasn't the same as playing Cain's, so in typical Willie fashion the band went to Tulsa and booked two nights at Cain's instead of just one to accommodate the faithful. The coffee machine is chugging as we make our way past the pot-bellied stove into Willie's office at the back of the saloon. Size-wise it's about as big as a four-horse trailer, but like the rest of World Headquarters it's decorated with an amazing array of items. There's a kid's Gene Autry guitar in its original shrink-wrapped box and a couple of old Mexican sombreros alongside a concha belt. As small as it seems, this tiny office is the actual recording studio where Willie recorded his watershed album Rainbow Connection for Island Records. He has hopes of capturing another digital moment here with Ray Price, whom Willie believes has the best voice in Country music. Willie is used to working in cramped quarters. Trained as a disc jockey, he seems most at peace either on stage enclosed by his loyal band or in some back room on his own personal back lot. Another of his recent works, a book of reminiscences titled The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes (Random House, 2002) was penned on-board his tour bus, Honeysuckle Rose III. No Western town would be complete without its own cast of characters, and a steady stream make their way into World Headquarters as the afternoon progresses. True to character, they offer an open hand and a warm smile but each mentions only a first name: Big Ed and Cindy, Tommy and David, Rusty, Steve, Jon, and Big Richard. One of Willie's daughters, Lana, shows up and shows off some of the new merchandise from Willie's website. A grandson, Anthony, puts an arm around his grandfather and challenges him to a game of pool. In a perfect deadpan, Willie counsels his grandson, "I don't think you're quite ready, Tony. But if someone's gonna take you, it might as well be me." Although he's knee-deep in a game of chess, Willie puts dibs on the next game of eightball. Without warning, however, a time-out is called. Rusty has been at it back in the kitchen and breakfast is about to be served. It may be two o'clock, but last night was a show night and almost everybody at World Head-quarters was present and accounted for at the Willie Nelson concert at The Backyard in Bee Cave on the west edge of Austin. Bowls of fresh strawberries and grapefruit are placed on the bar as plates of fried eggs and bacon are brought out from the kitchen. At 69, Willie has blossomed into a masterful multi-tasker. He trades a pawn for a rook, sops up some egg yolk with a piece of bread, and introduces an old friend simultaneously. "Ben has worked for John Wayne and Buck Owens and a whole host of others besides me. His millions of fans worldwide know him as Ben Dorcy the Third," he says. The moment he finishes his breakfast, his plate is pulled and the table is racked. Willie grabs a pool cue and begins to carve out a little quality time for himself in Luck. The next half-hour is a series of bank shots and chess moves, none of which seem to have anything to do with luck. Interspersed in this power play are a variety of sing-alongs with XM Satellite Radio. "I grew up listening to the radio, so I listened to everything like Minnie Pearl and Ernest Tubb and right on up through Bob Wills and Hank Williams. I listened to the Grand Ole Opry from WSM in Nashville religiously every Saturday night. I think that's when radio was at its best. When you had guys who were radio personalities who went in and picked what they thought was good music and talked about it and knew it from beginning to end," he says as he chalks his stick. Keep in mind, this is not Willie Nelson the Country legend speaking from on high, but an ex-disc jockey who spent a good bit of the late 1940s and early 1950s working at stations from Vancouver to Nashville and who began his Fort Worth children's show at KCNC by announcing, "This is your old cotton-pickin', snuff-dippin', tobaccer-chewin', stump-jumpin', gravy-soppin', coffee-pot-dodgin', dumplin-eatin', frog-giggin' hillbilly from Hill County, Willie Nelson." His most requested song? Red Headed Stranger. Nowadays, Willie is almost never out of earshot of XM Satellite Radio. Not only is it beamed to World Headquarters but he also gets it on-board Honeysuckle Rose III. Bill Mack's show is a favorite. Willie calls in regularly to chat with Bill, and considers him one of the last of the great platter spinners. Hank's Place, another XM program, is another favorite, and the moment Johnny Cash breaks into "Hey Porter," everyone, including Willie, sings backup. By now, World Headquarters is humming with activity. There's talk about the Johnny Gimble tribute the night before at Austin's Paramount Theatre. Word is out that Ron Howard plans to do a remake of The Alamo, and Ben reminisces about driving the Duke around Happy Shahan's Alamo Village during the making of the original. Big Ed and Cindy are hard at work picking out a name for their baby. Willie's won three or four games of chess and a couple games of eightball. He's got an arm on his grandson's shoulder, and his consolation is genuine, almost brotherly. Right in the middle of it all, an unexpected riff kicks in via satellite, and the whole joint sings in a single voice with Hank Williams on lead: "Hey, good lookin', Whatcha got cookin'? How's about cookin' Somethin' up with me?" Come the following day, Willie will cover the same song in a return engagement at The Backyard on a beautiful Hill Country night. He did Hank proud, but something was missing. I'm not saying this out of respect for Hank, nor do I mean any disrespect to Willie and the band, but the truth of the matter is, it just ain't the same when you're out of Luck. Willie Nelson DISCOGRAPHY FILMOGRAPHY The Great Divide (2002) Rainbow Connection (2001) Milk Cow Blues (2000) Night and Day (1999) Teatro (1998) How Great Thou Art (1996) Spirit (1996) Willie Standard Time (1996) The Road Goes on Forever (1995) Moonlight Becomes You (1994) Across the Borderline (1993) Night Life (1992) Who'll Buy My Memories (1991) Highwaymen II (1990) Some Enchanted Evening (1989) A Horse Called Music (1989) On the Road Again (1989) What a Wonderful World (1988) Seashores of Old Mexico (1987) The Promiseland (1986) Me and Paul (1985) Funny How Times Slips Away (1985) Highwaymen (1985) Good Hearted Woman (1985) City of New Orleans (1984) Don't You Ever Get Tired of Hurting Me (1984) Willie Nelson and Mickey Gilley (1984) Songs From My Heart (1984) Wild and Willie (1984) Take It To the Limit (1983) Without a Song (1983) Always on My Mind (1982) Slow Down Old World (1982) The Sound in Your Mind (1982) Old Friends (1982) Diamonds in the Rough (1982) Willie Nelson and Johnny Lee (1982) Pancho and Lefty (1982) Somewhere Over the Rainbow (1981) Once More With Feeling (1981) Family Album (1980) San Antonio Rose (1980) Music from Honeysuckle Rose (1980) Willie and David (1980) Sweet Memories (1979) One for the Road (1979) Willie Nelson Sings Kristofferson (1979) Waylon and Willie (1978) Stardust (1978) There'll Be No Teardrops Tonight (1978) Willie and Family Live (1978) Before His Time (1977) Seasons of My Heart (1977) To Lefty From Willie (1977) Wanted: The Outlaws (1976) The Sound In Your Mind (1976) Willie Nelson Live (1976) Willie Nelson and His Friends (1976) Red Headed Stranger (1975) Country Willie (1975) Classic Willie Nelson (1975) What Can You Do To Me Now (1975) Spotlight on Willie Nelson (1974) Phases and Stages (1974) Shotgun Willie (1973) The Best of Willie Nelson (1973) The World Don't Fit the Picture (1972) The Willie Way (1972) Willie Nelson and Family (1971) Yesterday's Wine (1971) Both Sides Now (1970) The Troublemaker (1970) Laying My Burdens Down (1970) Columbus Stockade Blues (1970) Texas In My Soul (1968) Good Times (1968) My Own Peculiar Way (1968) Make Way for Willie Nelson (1967) The Party's Over (1967) Hello, Walls (1966) Country Favorites (1966) Live at Panther Hall (1966) Country Willie: His Own Songs (1965) Here's Willie Nelson (1963) . . . And Then I Wrote (1962) That's all we could fit, Willie!—Editors The Journeyman (2001) Stardust (2000) Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) Outlaw Justice (1999) Half Baked (1998) Wag the Dog (1997) Anthem (1997) Gone Fishin' (1997) Starlight (1996) Big Country (1994) Dust to Dust (1994) Wild Texas Wind (1991) Another Pair of Aces: Three of a Kind (1991) Pair of Aces (1990) Where the Hell's That Gold?!!? (1988) Baja Oklahoma (1988) Once Upon a Texas Train (1988) Heartbeat (1987) Red Headed Stranger (1986) Stagecoach (1986) The Last Days of Frank and Jesse James (1986) Songwriter (1984) Hell's Angels Forever (1983) Barbarosa (1982) Coming Out of the Ice (1982) Thief (1981) Honeysuckle Rose (1980) Bob & Ray, Jane, Laraine & Gilda (1979) The Electric Horseman (1979) Top of Page ©2002 Cowboys & Indians http://ermine.users.netlink.co.uk/onj/webring.html


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